


Hazelnut Eyes

by wyvernqueen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:58:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyvernqueen/pseuds/wyvernqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angsty Rivetra oneshot.  Levi thought she'd always be there - but that makes it all the more harder when she's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hazelnut Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> From a series which I tried not to take seriously, personally not liking anything of the horror genre at all (with the exception of Tokyo Ghoul), the scene with Petra's death always seemed to strike me the most. More or less because (imo) after the fact, you realize there's so much more she could have been - something that it even gets to the stoic personage of Levi. Anyway, this is a bit of an old one, but to the Rivetra shippers out there, I hope you like it! <3

It had always been her smile.

He had never noticed it before, but it would alleviate his mood, help him relax, and that was something that was hard to do. He was not just any 'lackey' of the recon corps, so to speak - he was _Corporal_ Levi, and with that title came a great amount of hardship all for the better good.

She - Petra Ral, a hand-picked member of his squad, would always timidly state to the rookies intimidated by his demeanor that he wasn't really a 'bad guy', only hardened and stoic on the outside, because of the duty he had to uphold. And she was right. That endeavoring loyalty would carry on whenever they entered the walls again, finally in safety's embrace, with the occasional shouts from disapproving commonfolk.

"Corporal! Why do we pay you money to go outside the walls if you're just wasting it?!"

"You're barely a Corporal, just a piece of scum!"

"That man over there is a _killer_! Just look at all the soldiers who died because of him!"

Those occasional shouts would eventually become a cacophony to the ears, and he would move on, unwavering. It was what was expected. Behind him, Petra would ride up a little closer on her horse, trodding next to his.   
"It always makes me angry. They don't know anything about you... How can they say those things?" She whispered into his ear, her face laden with distress.

"Simple. I'm the one bringing their friends and family outside of the walls, and men always die when we go outside the walls. By the time we return inside, we've succeeded in doing very little. They're not too far off." Levi replied calmly. His cautious eyes slowly shifted to catch Petra's visage waxing golden in the sunlight, simmering with disgust at the name-calling.

"No." She spoke the words harshly, clutching onto her reins. "You might be leading them towards their deaths, but you never let them be in vain. You mourn for their losses for the sake of their loved ones, and help them move on. You have kindness... And strength. That's what you should be _honored_ for, Corporal." She turned to look at him, her hazel eyes making sure they caught direct eye contact.

Inside the man stirred a certain sense of surprise. He had never guessed Petra would pinpoint that so easily - even to others of the Recon Corps, he was simply and just - intimidating. That was the status quo opinion, in any case - not like he didn't know the words being said behind his back, he simply feigned ignorance.

"I suppose you're right. In any case, ignore them. Most of the citizens who come here are never truly aware of humanity's situation." He had said, and with those words, he was left to mull over the conversation they had just had.

And now... He could never understand why out of all the people in his legion, her death had been the one to affect him the most.

The moment he caught a glimpse of her dead body, mangled on the ground, it was neither remorse nor confusion that first surfaced. Instead, it was a frothing, bubbling cauldron of anger. He had trained himself to not let his emotions control him, but his eyes were a window to his heart, and that was something which was slowly decaying inside. Despite it, he would still keep calm and indifferent, all for the mission he had at hand. Along the way, he couldn't help but wonder why. Why death had to claim her for his juicy, new, handpicked collection. He had felt empty enough to rip out her badge. A memoir, from days long gone. Usually, however much upset he was about it, he would know that he would keep living for his comrades - that he would continue on the battle for them. But for Petra, the possibility hadn't really come to mind. He had seen her in action - like himself, she was the best. He had only imagined her to enlist in the Scouting Legion for years, constantly by his side.

_Now,_ Levi would realize, _it was foolish of me to think that way._

Soldiers live to die, and die to live. Everyone in the legion had that cruel fate hanging above their heads - what mattered was what they would do with the short amount of time they had left.

For his comrades, later that same day, he would order the corpses to be thrown to halt more deaths. His mind had not yet clicked on what it would entail on his behalf, as for now, all what mattered was the safety of his soldiers. He would get a friendly reminder the moment the third body was thrown off of the wagon. The fabric placed over the corpse had unraveled, only to reveal that hauntingly familiar person, a shadow of their former selves. And for that moment, Levi froze, staring at the remains of the woman he had known so well.

Scarlet blood, some of it already dried and crusted, had smeared along the upper left side of her face. The source, likely a head injury that had cracked through her skull. Her jaw was lax, hanging, but what came to the corporal's greatest notice was her eyes. Blank, dead, unseeing, but wide open, the exact shade of hazelnut he'd see every day. They were staring right at him - but whether in judgment of his actions or remorse about the past, he couldn't say. His own eyes grim and undoubtedly perturbed, he watched on. Levi watched as Petra was thrown off the wagon, propelled further and further away, always staring at those unchanging eyes. She hit the ground, and was sent rolling off towards the Titan in front of them, and he was sure that that was the last he would ever get to see of her.

And it was only then he had remembered - he had spent the entire day avoiding seeing her face. Something inside him had broke, but yet he petered on against the harsh tide of battle. The same thoughts, however, remained in his mind, and would for eternity.

He had gave those orders. He had killed her.

She could have lived.

And as he later found out, _they_ could have had a life together. Instead, her future was shattered by the Female Titan's slightest touch, and more or less, his own hand.

Those sullen eyes would not leave him, nor would the dark circles underneath them, as her own father came to talk to him, unknowing of her untimely demise, and as he finally arrived into the building where his day would come to an end.

Tonight, Levi knew, he would not fall asleep.

As, the moment he did, he would find those haunting hazelnut eyes staring back at him again.


End file.
